In the previous section, we discussed the limitations of online communication (see https://www.xiaozonglin.cn/archives/terrible-online-chatting/). Here, we will talk about utilitarianism in interpersonal communication. Let's take a look at the following dialogue:
Teacher, I finished reading "The Three-Body Problem."
And then?
That's it.
Oh.
In this dialogue, a student wanted to share with the teacher that they finished reading "The Three-Body Problem," but the conversation abruptly ended with "Oh." I am not accustomed to and dislike nitpicking certain aspects of people's conversations, as I myself have not done well in this aspect of speaking. However, the utilitarian nature of interpersonal communication reflected in this dialogue is worth discussing.
In my opinion, interpersonal communication can be divided into utilitarian communication and emotional communication. Utilitarian communication is only for the purpose of accomplishing something through communication. This type of communication often involves clear responsibilities and avoids personal entanglements. Once the task is accomplished, utilitarian communication becomes unnecessary. Utilitarian communication is often related to an individual's power and status. When a person is successful, there may be many people following them, but once that person encounters difficulties, those who followed them for fame and fortune disappear. It is in times of adversity that true feelings are revealed.
Emotional communication is the effort made by both parties to achieve individual happiness and collective well-being. Empathy is the highest form of emotion in humans, and emotional communication is built on the foundation of empathy. A significant portion of the comfort humans derive from the outside world comes from emotional communication. Our conversations with psychologists, our emotional exchanges with friends are not for specific practical purposes, but rather to better regulate our own emotions.
If we observe our lives, we will find that as we grow older, our utilitarian communication gradually increases while emotional communication relatively decreases. A long time ago, I asked my mother if she had any friends she could confide in. She knew a few people in the neighborhood, and if she saw them, she would greet them and exchange a few words, but that was it. The communication we have now or in the future with our superiors and colleagues in completing work tasks is mostly utilitarian communication. Utilitarian communication may be more convenient and efficient in completing tasks, but it provides little help to our personal well-being.
In our daily lives, we inevitably have utilitarian communication. Utilitarian communication is very effective in dealing with relationships with strangers. Clarifying relationships and avoiding emotional entanglements is the trend towards a more rational society. However, emotional communication is more necessary in life. Humans are not just machines that think rationally. We are higher animals capable of perceiving the world and expressing ourselves emotionally. There are times in life when we feel frustrated and melancholic, and that's when we need someone else to listen and comfort us.